she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
