her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
