last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
