Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize