She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
