and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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