I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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