Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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