I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
