"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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