so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This is the high leading the old right now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
