Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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