Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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