I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My pussy is not your playground.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
