yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
