Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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