; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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