Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
