Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
