I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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