What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
