i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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