3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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