Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
