**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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