Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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