Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
