I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
