At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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