so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
