Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
