Old men and throwing up are my life now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
