is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
