Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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