You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize