I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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