Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
