look no pants
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i would punch a child for taco bell
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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