stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
