I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
