dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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