dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
