When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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