also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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