so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize