I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
