i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
