something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wear drunk well.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
