it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
