speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize