i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
