God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
