we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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