i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
