Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
