i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
