I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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