i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
