yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
