when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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