It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize