she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize