brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
