dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize