i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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