everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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