I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I enjoy the company of your penis
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
