I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize