Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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