Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize