I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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