Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
