Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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