New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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