It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
