my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
