let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
