did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
