when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
