so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
