And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
