im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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