Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
